Yeah...that really is a guy making a duck face....And there are countless more pictures of the male cast making duck faces. By now i think my point may already have been made. Has anyone ever wondered what makes the cast of this particular reality show tick? How do they see themselves? What do they think of themselves and their show? I am really, truly curious about how someone so ridiculous can justify their existence? Maybe not entire existence, but the show they are on, the one that made them inexplicably, mind-bogglingly rich and/or famous. Do they ever step outside of their comfort zone, the one where everyone loves them and their orange tans are awesome and realize that they are, at best, a joke? Did anyone ever, really REALLY like them? How did they end up with a show? Were they famous before for some other reason and then they were put on a show? Did any of them have a sex tape? Did all of them? Or did some genius at MTV realize there was a hole in our collective souls that could only be filled with quality and educational content such as ....oh wait, never mind, they went for the lowest common denominator as usual. You know what that show is exactly like to me? Swamp People. Doing a search on Google, it returned results as appetizing as: Swamp cooking, Nature's grocery store or Turf Wars and i was tempted to try the Swamp People mobile video game, buy the t-shirt, sign up for e-mail updates or try their gumbo bowls. Sign me up!
Has anyone heard these two speak?
I am actually serious when i wonder what they think of themselves. Do they ever feel the impulse to leave this world a little bit better than when they came into it? Do they ever think to do some good with their popularity? Is there more than just laughing all the way to the bank? Do they even have anything, anything at all to teach us? Will they teach a child a needed lesson? Any kind of education? Do they ever feel the self-hatred of their fans as they blankly stare into their TV screens reaching out to them? Does it weigh on their shoulders that they stole an hour of countless people’s lives that they will never get back? A whole hour staring down into the gaping maw of blackness that is their insipid dialogue. There are so, so many internet cliches that i can think of when this show is even brought up, such as “My IQ just dropped 100 points just watching this” and “I wish i could invent a machine that allows me to stab someone in the face over the internet”
This is what your children will turn into if you don’t raise them properly
However…there is always a sinister undertone when i hear about the new slew of shows…Back in my day we walked to school in the snow, uphill both ways! But really, why unleash them upon our own race? Why is television today so devoid of good role models? Instead we create precedent after precedent of fist pumping, drinking until everyone gets into a cat fight or pukes or passes out, sleeping with every single one of the people you know and make as much sense as a Neanderthal with a stroke. I know i sound like a broken record and this has been said over and over before. But come on, MTV, you used to play Come as You Are and Schism. Now we have…them?
Or are we to blame? Are they prime-time because we liked them so much or do we like them so much because they are prime-time? And that’s why this is becoming a sinister topic for me. Because, even though it’s been said over and over again, what if it’s the latter? Are we being dumbed-down as a race? I’m not trying to sound like another conspiracy theorist, i do hate those, i might just be out of touch with what’s “Hip” these days. But come on..”Mob Wives”? How long until “Here comes Honey Boo-Boo” is be the classiest thing to watch? I for one am sick of being herded like a sheep and told that I don’t deserve any better than The Jersey Shore; that the limit of my understanding begins and ends with cooking roadkill; that as a woman, the only useful skill i can acquire is marrying somebody rich and spreading them on TV for the enjoyment of millions others. Again, this is a truism but It reminds me of Idiocracy.
What do you guys think? Leave me a comment.
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